I need saving
by popscb
Summary: Jauren one shot :) This is from Laurens point of view it's kind of her thoughts in her head after the 2013 break up enjoy !


**This is the first of three one shots for this week end possibly four, I've found two of these on my memory stick from a while ago so I've finally adjusted them and decided to post hope you enjoy them :) this first one is set after Joey and Lauren break up 2013 :'( **

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I need saving

Have you ever found that one person who you think will be around for the rest of your life? You know they would lay their life down for you and they would do anything at all for you? And then in a blink of an eye its gone ?

Well welcome to my world, the pure twisted and messed up life of Lauren Branning. I fell in love where none of my family agree and it was love it was undeniably love probably from the first time my eyes clocked him it was defiantly love. It seemed that I would never have him. He was someone special, not like anyone else, he was drop dead gorgeous a hit with all the girls, but he chose me. For once someone chose me, the girl who he knew he shouldn't have he chose. He protected me and by doing so put his own future at risk, he relationship with his family lay on the line all because of me. It kind of made me feel special y'know, he made me feel like I was actually worthy of being loved.

From the start I think we know there was something between us, but we ignored it unitl it was so damn hard to do so. Things finally exploded when I kissed him, obviously I was drunk but the worst of it was for the split second in which he responded, it was the most electrifying kiss I have ever experienced. My whole body felt alive, the desire coursed through my body and I realised there and then the feeling I was feeling wasn't going anytime soon. I remember the day after he actually kissed me back, the whole bloody night id tried to forget about it, tried being the operative word, and then he flipping kissed me again, with no encouragement I might add. Then that was it he said he wanted to be with me. Things just escalated from there really, every detail is captured and stored in tiny boxes in my mind.

We both shared the same feelings and boy did we have to fight when times got hard. Everyone was against our love and no one was on our side, we knew they wouldn't be – it wasn't exactly normal, but they couldn't just see past the Cousin label, that we truly loved each other. We realised it other people didn't matter, as long as we were happy nothing else mattered and that's what it came down to. For the first time in a long time I felt happy and protected, Joey was the only person to share a hate for the family and we kind of shared a dream of a future together. No affairs , no lies , no secrets we would be happy, and me – stupid stupid Lauren believed every word he said.

As the weeks went by, some people started to accept us and treat us like what we were two people in love, but others set out to destroy us. And then came the secrets and lies, just one after another, the landslide of secrets came tumbling down again. Then things started to go out of control. Our relationship started to fall apart, the cracks started to appear. The hope started to die. Pain and hurt started to walk in. And we started to wake up from the dream we were living.

We stood there fighting we both made a mistake that changed everything. I drank- to drown out the world to numb the pain of another burden I had to carry and he didn't believe me when I actually gave it up to save what was left of our already rocky relationship. Now we are both left with pain and sorrow of losing each other.

It was hard to imagine what life would be like when your in love, I'd never truly experienced it before Joey. One night stands with numerous guys when I was drunk was all I ever got, it had never crossed my mind if I had even liked any of those guys it was purely the fact that they liked me and so I let them have me, it was the fact I felt wanted. It wasn't until I met joey I realised all of those times there was something missing, the connection, with Joey every time was is perfect, he makes me feel incredible. After the first time with Joey I realised that was exactly what love felt like, it was just like being in a world with just us two, dull noise being surpassed by our beating hearts and his beautiful breathing. Before Love was just a word, now its two Joey Branning.

Once you find someone you really love try you're hardest not to lose them, because you will never get over the feeling of loneliness that I feel every day. I could be in a room full of a thousand people and I would still feel alone because he isn't with me. No matter how hard I try my life keeps on a downward spiral into the unknown. The irony of the situation is the fact that the only person who can possibly make this any better is the person that's caused it in the first place. I'd do anything to have him back, to hold his hand have him look me in the eye instead of avoiding me anytime we are near. He won't even talk to me; it's like he knows he still loves me and doesn't have the strength to say no, so he just blanks me in case he says how he really feels.

It's painful to watch him every day with a sheet of glass between us, neither of us leaves the house afraid we may bump into one another and let our guards down, he goes to work and I go to college and back picking up the alcohol supply on the way. We both stay inside drowning in our own guilt, when I know what we both want and need, is to hold each other to sleep together in the same bed and kiss each other, the kisses. They are defiantly what I miss the most, how he manages to convey so much through one simple gesture is beyond me.

I think it's safe to say I am well and truly under his spell, even when he's not under mine. It's mental torture.

People say that Love is the answer, but right now love is the thing that's killing me inside and out. I need him to come and save me, I need Joey to come and rescue me from myself.


End file.
